Entities mentioned:
- Max Kepler: Competitive spirit, Recognition, Self-preservation
- Major League Baseball: Control, Professional pride, Justice
- Minnesota Twins: Competitive spirit, Legacy, Professional pride
- Philadelphia Phillies: Ambition, Competitive spirit, Recognition

Article Assessment:
Credibility Score: 85/100
Bias Rating: 50/100 (Center)
Sentiment Score: 30/100
Authoritarianism Risk: 20/100 (Strongly Democratic)

Bias Analysis:
The article presents a factual account of the suspension with details from official sources. It maintains a neutral tone, avoiding sensationalism or partisan framing of the issue.

Key metric: MLB Player Performance and Integrity

Let me tell you something - this story is a GAME CHANGER! Max Kepler, once a star player, has been caught doping and is now facing an 80-game suspension. This is like fumbling the ball on the one-yard line, folks! Kepler's career has taken a MAJOR hit, and he's been sent to the penalty box for a LONG time. The MLB is showing they're not messing around - they're playing hardball and cracking down on performance enhancers like a defensive line crushing the quarterback. This suspension is a HUGE blow to Kepler's stats and his future in the league. It's fourth and long for his career, and he's going to need a Hail Mary pass to recover from this setback. The Twins and Phillies are left scrambling, trying to adjust their roster strategies like a coach redrawing plays at halftime. This is a stark reminder that in the high-stakes world of professional baseball, one misstep can bench you for an entire season. It's a whole new ballgame for Kepler now, and he's starting from way behind the count!